“I wish you enough,” she whispered in my ear. “Enough sun to light up your days, enough rain that you appreciate the sun. Enough joy to strengthen your soul, enough pain that you can appreciate life’s small moments of happiness. And enough friends that you can manage a farewell now and then.”
I found this quote in a book called "The Red Address Book" . It speaks to me in a way many other things do but this has been my guiding principle for as long as I can remember. I do not recall where I first heard it I only recall the feelings it evoked.
I reached that point a few years ago but somewhere between 2018 and 2020 I lost it, well I suppose I didn't lose it so much as I forced myself to discontent against officially reaching 59. I fought what I felt was the end of living for myself. I fought against the fact that soon I would be officially old.
But I fought against it in my mind in my heart I felt old already and found myself getting more and more angry at the world and at myself. I threw away my money which only served to make me angrier because I did not, could not have what I wanted even when the want was a fleeting thing.
But today as I was reading I came across this quote and I remembered that I still had enough, that I was being silly. Being old does not mean you stop living.