Wasn't expecting another one so soon but life is like that.
I watched a video by someone I remember as a dear friend. Strong & vibrant at 63 she is not. I was only able to watch about six minutes of it because it hurt my heart and made me cry.
I kept flashing to the second last time I saw her. She was standing on her doorstep as I took my daughter to the hospital for a cut on her leg that she had sustained while visiting my friend. I was all kinds of upset and worried because it looked so bad.
I saw her many years after that and she was confined to a wheelchair because of arthritis. I remember thinking it served her right that she had earned the punishment that that wheelchair represented. I said all the right things and moved on without a backwards glance.
I will not tell you all the bad things I had heard about her but it was enough for me to feel that I made the right choice about leaving her behind.
Now so many years after the fact I am looking at a woman who is only three years my senior and wishing I had not been such a self-righteous bitch because it is clear that Karma gave her a really shitty life. There but for the grace of the Great Spirit go I.
She did not protect her child from a predator and she lost her. My daughter was hurt by two predators, one I took to court the other one I didn't know about for a long time because Nessa never spoke about it. I did not lose he but that is because I fought every step of the way to keep her with me. Clearly I was lucky.
When illness struck her it made her an invalid, I have several of my own but I refuse to give into them completely. though honestly, I wonder why I bother some days.
It is a lesson I have known my whole life but that I sometimes forget. No matter how bad your life is there is someone who is worse off than you.
And if that wasn't enough I remembered that pride goes before a fall and I pray everyday that I do not end up lost in my memories or forced into a wheelchair.
Great Spirit grant me that!