Something I need to remember. I have spent so much of my life running and hiding that I don't know if I can stop. Even now I am feeling the need to run, to change my sourroundings, to alter my view but at the same time, I do not know where to begin to change.
Giving up and drifting is easier. It makes me wish I could still drink, then if I did something stupid I could blame it on the alcohol. I don't much like myself some days. I see a lazy whiner who is also so spoiled she expects everyone to do as she tells them. As I said sometimes I don't like myself much.
I can make all kinds of plans and say I'm going to change but inevitably I fall back into old habits and don't even notice it until it is nearly too late to change course again in the direction I want to go.
Maybe you can relate?