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A Conversation

When I started this post I intended to write something entirely different but I am very disturbed at the moment by a conversation I just had on instant messenger and I want to share it with you. Tell me do you think I am wrong to take this stance or not? The grey is my daughter the blue is me

Hey.. do you happen to have $25 to $30 we can borrow until the end of the month?


I am flat broke

maybe $3 to my name

I don't have enough lunch stuff to get us through until the end of the month because we can't send them with peanut butter. We don't have soup or anything food banks are closed and Dean has school tomorrow so no way to go to the food banks. We are in a pretty bad predictiment.

I would help if I could you are just going to have to get creative

There is nothing to get creative with. I have been thinking about it since yesterday. They just may have to stay home the rest of this week and next.

leftover dinner works too

and if you are keeping them home I hope you are giving them lessons

I don't know how to teach. I am kinda regretting asking for the new kids tickets that money would be helpful right now. What do I do when the thought of going to a concert Instead of feeding my kids makes me nauseous, and hate myself?

Remember that they were a gift and did not come out of your pocket so the money that was spent on them is not yours but mine

They were mine once you gave them to me to do with what I want and atm The cash would be the better gift. I am extremely nauseous because of this. I have nothing to send with them. There is never any leftover dinner. Have you met my kids? We used 2lbs of hamburger for tacos yesterday and they ate it all!

If we cook stuff after they go to bed for thier lunches we will also run out of dinner food before the end of the month. I am stressed.. on top of this the meeting yesterday Aidan will be getting shipped out to a different school in Sept.

You need to calm down and go see what you have that isn't quick and easy. Canned soup opened and put in a thermos is also a good alternative

where and why?

You have money to buy a thermos? Because we Don't have any. Probably James Strath becausenitnis the next closest school to us that has an LLS class. Because the teachers have said No way to the boys being in the same LLS class.

Can't say as I'd blame them the two of them would be a handful and a half for a teacher no matter how many helpers she has

Yea but it is going to feed into Aidans anxiety. And again we dont have any thermoses!

Didn't the boys lunch boxes come with a covered cup of some kind


If I had thermoses and about $20 I wouldn't be as stressed right now. I have a couple cans of soup but that's it.

I have mason jars with special plastic lids you can come and get them if you want, the $20 well I don't know what you can do about that.

They will break them.. sometimes I seriously wonder how well you know the boys!

It is worth a shot Ness and it solves your dilemma for at least another day

Glad you think So!

I do

Your seriously need to spend more time with them! And I can't send soup in a glass jar they will break it tossing thier lunch bags around! Wow. I am totally making sense for once and you aren't!

Read very carefully Ness

I would rather not because you don't know what you are talking about!

I do not have any money, Rob will not give you any either because you "forgot" to pay him anything when dean's loan came in and unlike me he expects to get his money back. Indeed you pay me back far faster than you pay him back. These jars are pickling jars and as such they are pretty strong and if you want to send you boys to school with a lunch then you are going to have to take a chance on them once in awhile. If on the other hand you want the boys home because you are lonely like you did with Sara then you had better learn how to teach them basic living skills as well as reading and writing.

I have held my peace for a long while now but you are forty and you got to learn how to take care of your home and your kids because I don't have a lot more time to defend you and take care of you. My time is getting very limited on this earth

And what time I have left I would like to spend enjoying my grandchildren not paying their way.

I am done talking at the moment.

Oh hell No!! You don't get to say stop and I will come to your house and have it out if necessary!! His loan went to bills, he is going to school so we don't have to stress about this! I tried working and my back gave out! I don't want them home because I miss them.. I don't want them taken away because I can't send them food as we are struggling paycheck to paycheck atm. You parents support us way more than you did. If per me and I will show up. Call the police if you want just because you are in your 50a doesn't mean Jack you lived of the system forever and o my reason you are ok now is because of Rob don't get all high and mighty on me!

High and mighty is that what you think?

That I never worked a day in my life hurting or not?

If you are struggling from paycheck to paycheck it is because you have too many bills. Solution get rid of some of your expenses. Do without like I did for 15 years

I know you did for a bit so did I and yes it is you being high and mighty!

You never did without because your dad always had youe back.

Survive on $1000 a month with two kids because your mental state is so bad just getting out of bed was a chore but I did and I looked after you and your brother

I tried getting rid of our car they said I will still have to pay on it wether they take it back or not. I need my washer I need my couch

You went to my parents only on holidays and then never for more than a few day after you started school

No you didn't I spent most of my time at vals or grandpa's and it was way more than $1000 a month!

Yea because the rest of the time I was worth my friends

Before that I was 17 -19 years old with two kids I muddled along and yes without being able to raid my parents freezer once in awhile we would have starved but I have done all of these things for you

I have done all of those things for your brother had he asked

My paycheque from the goverment for all of the seventies never went over 12oo and the baby bonus was only 60

We were with Grandma and grandpa in the 70s surprised you got child tax.

We survived because I made sure we did. Had I known what a headache the two of you would become I would have sent you to Lloyd and Irene instead of trying to do it myself

You are halairious and maybe you should have! I was read my home we were rarely home you didn't do much! As for being a headache you are one also I bend over backwards for you do what I can do I ask for help you get on your high horse like you were a perfect person or parent

I am not the greatest mom neither were you.. where do you think I learned it from? I do what I can and I am struggling and you are being bitchy about it. As for Rob we planned o paying him but he only got a little over $2000 I still have 1 pair of pants and maybe 3 shirts to my name. Bills had to be paid. They got paid!

You were seldom at your grandparents without me and only when I needed a break, I didn't get respite like you do, I didn't have other people supporting me and my children. My parents provided shelter for the forst year and 3/4 then I paid my rent, I paid my utilities, I volunteered to get some kind of experience after flunking out of college. I provided for us Ness not my parents, I never saw a red cent from them in that you have me beat big time. I had nothing, even after your brother was diagnosed I didn't see any money from anyone for anything except to pay our bills

I just started getting respite wtf Mom!! For 30 yrs I had no respite!

Am I perfect no far from it, I'm just tired of you expecting Rob or I to bail you out everytime you do something stupid like buy a dog youneed trained for special duty without having the money to train said dog

20 years Sara is only 20

Or for the dog itself

Ok so this is all over bear. Guess what I did t pay anything for this dog ODSP covered 600 and Rob $100

Always you spend money on stuff you don't plan to before you make sure you have all of your bills paid. You waste more money on things you want not things you need.

I didn't have respite until end of 2018. So 30+ years no respite.. I volunteered got experience got a job lost said job because my back hurt. My husband has gone back to school and I am still sick and sore as fuck but I sent him anyway you don't know jack!

All my bills are paid that is why I am struggling now and that was with the bank screwing me over. Only thing I EVER BUY FOR MYSELF Is Pepsi! Don't tell me what I did. ODSP covered the dog, I am doing the training on my own I have not bought myself anything for a long time!

Then you come to us and ask us to help you out with a little money every damn month Ness and sometimes more than once a month and I know you get at least $2000 a month from various sourses whil I pay triple you rent and cable and phone and buy my own food and other stuff on $1200 dollars a month. I am tired of you complaining Nessa, Get your head out of your ass and take a good look at what you do. It's no ones fault except yours. Even the "piss poor" childhood you clain to have could have made you a different person, like it did your brother. No he is not perfect, you are not perfect, I am not perfect but put us all in the same situation and all three of us would handle it differently. There are days when I wish I could stop being a mother cause all it's brought me is heartache and tears and a few littles who are getting screwed over even worsr than you were

Its not about spending money on yourself Nessa it's about handling money in a way that you don't end up broke every month. It's about you calling me for money rather than look in your cupboaed to see if there is something you can make or use instead of the fast easy stuff you ussually use for the boys lunch. It's about there always being leftovers in your fridge that you won't use because they are more than a few days old. Its about there being stuff in your freezer that you will never eat taking up space of stuff you will eat. It is about buying ice cream instead of fruit.

Don't you dare call me a bad parent! If my kids need help I will help them if I can couple of times why I didn't pay Rob back! I have just as Mich heartache as you and my kids have issues yes but I am feeling with it I got a shot ton of people involved to help out. You bitch about your rent apply for housing! Rob pays for most of your stuff so don't even go there! Free trips you get to go on! He tales you shopping and pays for it on to of your support! My son needs me right now! we will deal with this later and I have also called Rob and will hash shot out with him as well.
Seen by Vanessa Marois-Walcott at 12:48

It is about a lot of little things but mostly its because you are forty years old and you act as if the world owes you a living, that I owe you a living, that it is my fault that you are in this mess, that I am less than my parents when I know damn well that had my mother still been alive she would have cuffed you upside the head years ago. Mostly its about me being in my 59th year and seeing my mortality ahead of me. It's about knowing I could have lost Rob last year and knowing that if he goes so does a lot of other things. Things I need to get a handle on. Things that require me to cut you loose from my apron strings and hope you can fly on your own because I can't be a safe harbour for you any more, I just can't.I need for you to learn to stand on your own two feet without having me or rob to lean on.

Rob helps out once in awhile I don't deny that but every time he spends money on something big for me I pay him back, it may only be 100 a month but he gets it back. Between those tickets and a few other things I'm in debt to him for a lot of money.

I'm not calling you a bad parent Nessa, I'm calling you a spoiled person and I am done spoiling you. Don't matter if that is how you see yourself that is how I see you


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