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Showing posts from February, 2021

Lesson 4

 Family has the ability to hurt you even family you hardly know. I have a grand-daughter (GD#2) who is expecting a child, a little girl, my first great-grandchild. This GD and her father have a stormy relationship and so we have interacted rarely. She has grown into a right prissy miss and though I have tried to keep the communication lines open it hasn't worked out well. Three days ago she IM'ed me to see if I had ordered some fancy-dancy baby sling she wanted. Her father apparently said I had. I was supposed to but I forgot so it didn't get bought. She accused her father of lying and said something about communication. I told her she could always get herself a cheaper version. I made reference to her pulling up her bra straps and doing things for herself. She went off the cliff in a rather childish way. She blocked everyone with the last name Marois including her great-aunts and their daughters citing for her reason that we were all toxic. That was something I was more or

Lesson 3

 “I wish you enough,” she whispered in my ear. “Enough sun to light up your days, enough rain that you appreciate the sun. Enough joy to strengthen your soul, enough pain that you can appreciate life’s small moments of happiness. And enough friends that you can manage a farewell now and then.” I found this quote in a book called "The Red Address Book" . It speaks to me in a way many other things do but this has been my guiding principle for as long as I can remember. I do not recall where I first heard it I only recall the feelings it evoked. I reached that point a few years ago but somewhere between 2018 and 2020 I lost it, well I suppose I didn't lose it so much as I forced myself to discontent  against officially reaching 59. I fought what I felt was the end of living for myself. I fought against the fact that soon I would be officially old. But I fought against it in my mind in my heart I felt old already and found myself getting more and more angry at the world and a