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Suicide is a choice!

I woke up this morning with an incident with one of my younger nephews when he was about 13.

I was very angry with him for some reason probably because he had said the "s" word in front of me as an answer to his angst. There are very few words that can set me off but that is one of them.

I have tried to take my own life a couple of times once I even tried to take my son with me but always in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't really ready to die, I just wanted people to see me. To know and acknowledge to me that I existed and I mattered to someone.

Someone who attempts suicide is a coward and here is why!

1) Every suicide attempt is a cry for help from someone who will not ask for it. Pride prevents them from going to someone and saying I'm feeling like I don't matter.

2) Every suicide is hoping for rescue. Someone who cares enough about them to check on them before their life is gone or to jump in and save them.

Some of them knowingly put distance between themselves and everyone else. It is a test to make others take notice and to ask why so they don't have to feel like they are begging for the attention they feel they deserve. 

That may seem a little harsh & perhaps it is a little bit but like I told my nephew when he threatened to jump out my 10th floor window, "You could do that but no one would be able to get to you before you died"

It was enough to stop the threats and it sent him into a depression but at least he began thinking about other ways to fix whatever was bothering him. 

All a suicide in waiting wants is for someone to listen, to speak to them but mostly to listen. They won't ask but if you are paying attention you will see in their eyes and sometimes in their behaviour what they can't say. If you notice just say hi and don't let them off the hook if they tell you nothing is wrong.

Pride is a dangerous thing and can also be very strong. It is also suspicious so be real in your feelings for that person cause they will know if you are just humouring them.

Sometimes it is a lot of work to get them to let you in to what is going on in their heads and sometimes just noticing and commenting on their behaviour can make them spill the beans. Sometimes all you can do is tell them you are there for them and include them in a conversation or two.

Or get angry like I do and tell them off for being silly and reminding them of the real-world results.


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