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Self Awareness

Do you ever tune out the world and listen to what your mind and body are telling you?

I got to thinking which led me to remember the classes I took when I was first learning to deal with my personal version of PTSD. It was on the recommendation of the psychologist my doctor sent me to when I was around 25.

I was fresh from an extended breakdown after spending about six months with a mental abuser par excellence. I don't know what type of mental illness he had but it was probably narcissism. I remember only parts of the relationship such as it was. My mind shattered and it took me a year to begin to live again.

That is not where I want to go today!

Self-awareness uncovers any destructive thought-patterns and unhealthy habits. This leads to better decision-making and behavioral responses. Here are 12 Self-Awareness Exercises That Fuel Happiness And Success...The Psychologist had me do two things:

1) Write out my life until that point with special emphasis on the emotions associated with each event I recorded
2) She sent me to a class on assertiveness

I didn't know what the benefits of either of those things would be but I found the benefits were profound.

By writing out my life story with emphasis on the emotions attached to each event I was able to tune into my distorted thinking. By focusing on the emotions I was able to tune into the litany of poor me that was going on in my head.

In the assertiveness class, I was trained to stop and think before I reacted to whatever stimulus was pushing my buttons. This helped me turn the litany around and use it to increase my self-worth.

Without those two things, I suspect I would have spiralled so deep into depression that I would have ended myself, children or no children. I had already tried once.

I forget sometimes but when things get really bad or I get some story running around in my mind I write it down and take a look at it. Once it is written down it no longer circles in my head and I can cope with it, put a positive spin on it and move on.

The story I directed you to yesterday is an example of that process in action as is this one. Over the years I have learned of other methods to cope (see infographic) with the memories of that and other times but always, always I come back to writing things down either in articles like this one or with poems.

How do you deal with your trauma?

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