Standing Knee-Deep in a River and Dying of Thirst
A song, a thought, a truth!
Have you ever noticed how some people, (maybe even you), can stand in the middle of a crowd and still be obviously alone? I am like that, I feel like I live on the fringe of life sometimes. Sometimes that is OK, other days like today it feels incredibly lonely.
I am still reading along with Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy. I want its central ideas be part of my daily life. She introduced me to seasonal living which is central to living my life well. As we go through the year I'll introduce you to the components she deems are necessary for authentic living. But that is not for today.
I read it on my Kindle for PC and on my phone when I'm not where my computer is and I don't have a laptop with me. That is part of the problem you see. Most of my people contact now comes via my computer and the internet.
In my twenties I had a group of friends I met with nearly every day when my kids were in school but that changed around my 27th year. I got married then you see and he had his own group of friends which had very few in common with mine. We spent more time with his friends than mine, not sure why it happened that way but it did. That was the first diminishing of my social interactions.
Lots of things happened in between but the main thing that happened is that my circle of friends slowly got smaller and smaller as the trust issues he began became worse and worse
In my 37th year I'd divorced him and taken up with the Professor. He is a geek and though he wasn't the one who introduced them to me, he was instrumental in getting me addicted to computers. That was the final blow to my social interaction. He lived in Toronto so I had left everything I knew behind. I'd done that before I met him but still...
So now I sit in a veritable ocean of information and wouldn't know how to be a friend if my life depended on it. Stepping outside my home is hard enough, talking to real live people for any length of time feels next to impossible. Its not that I am not willing to try, I just know that when I am talking with my neighbours I do not feel comfortable. Which is sad because they are all in the same situation as I am so we have a lot in common. Sort of like you.
So standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst. Looking around and seeing the water but afraid to taste in case it will make me sick. This is where I am today.